The Inseide Dope, by Bob Seidenstein

Ticked off

Can anyone remember a spring/summer like the one we’ve been having? I can’t. If I had to make it into a formula, it’d be this: Ten parts overcast, seven parts rain, five parts unseasonably cool temps, one part hotter than the hubs of hell. May was a soggy drag, but I endured ...

Wheels of misfortune

The debate about legalizing assisted suicide is raging nationwide, and now New York state has joined the fray. By law, New York prohibits assisted suicide. Nonetheless, it’s promoted in My Home Town. Don’t believe me? Just start riding your bike around town some ...

The downhill slide from 1952

One of my fondest childhood memories is of the May Festival. As the name implies, it was a celebration of spring, which after those old-time Adirondack winters was something well worth celebrating. It was a grade school event, but I still remember a lot about it. One was its ...

Crosswalk talk

There’s something bothering me so much I can no longer keep it to myself. What is it? you ask. It’s those performers from the ’60s and ’70s who are still performing ... but in name only. If you haven’t been to one of their concerts recently, don’t feel bad, ...

Seaman Recruit Dope learns the ropes

Forty-eight years ago today, I’d finished my second week of boot camp. I was still in shock, and it was a good thing. The enormity of a four years in This Man’s Navy hadn’t dawned on me. Instead, from minute to minute I struggled, just to figure out what was going on. I was ...

A not-so shy and retiring kinda guy

Last Saturday, I did something for the last time that I’ve done every year for the past 44. I went to the Paul Smith’s College graduation. I retired three years ago, so this was the last class I taught, during their freshman year. Given the number of students I had then, combined with ...

Pet peeves

The Adirondack Association of Lists and Labels recently divided pet owners into three groups. The first is CAO (Casual Animal Owners). “Casual” is an euphemism – “Careless” might be more appropriate. These are the people who like to have animals; they just don’t like to take ...

Under the big — and little — top

We’ve all heard the phrase “having the world at your fingertips.” But guess what? Today it’s literally true. Given the coverage and speed of electronic media, we know when something happens, anywhere, within seconds. Beyond that, if we want to find out something, no matter how ...

Down the tube(s)

“Age is only a number.” I hear people say that, and I cringe — especially since the peeps saying it are almost always 30 years younger than me. Simply put, as good as their intentions might be, they have no idea what they’re talking about. Yes, age is just a number. But so are IQ, ...

The curmudgeon and the kid

Last week I paid my final respects to an old friend, Buck Lester. When I say “old friend,” it needs qualifying. I knew Buck for 50 years, but were on friendly terms only for the last 35 or so. It’s a long story and in order to understand it, you need to know about Paul Smith’s ...

The curious case of Madame K

Con men have been around as long as we have. Or if you read the bible as history, they’ve been around even longer, what with the serpent preceding Adam in the creation chronicle – and the evolutionary one as well. And of course they’re still with us. But, logically, you’d think ...

When spring sprang

After the snow from last week’s blizzard had been plowed, shoveled and snowblown away, the denizens of My Home Town breathed a collective sigh of relief. A day or so after that, when we realized that as far as blizzards go, we’d dodged The Big One, a confidence bordering on giddiness ...

(Photo provided)

Snow jobs

Until the emergence of science and the scientific method, a fact was what the authorities said it was. If the chief Aztec said the best way to guarantee a corn surplus was to eviscerate a couple hundred slaves, so be it. If medieval kings had all the wealth and power, it was ...

The pick of the crop

Apparently there’s a movement afoot to reintroduce cursive writing in public school curricula. Ah, yes, cursive writing. Remember it? I do — especially my struggle to learn it. It was in fourth grade with Miss Reid. Miss Reid was the very picture of a 20th-century ...

Thumbs up … and OUT!

I first got bitten by the travel bug when I was in single digits, though as a little kid in Saranac Lake, chances for major voyages were limited. But I finally got them, thanks to my incompetence as a student. When I flunked out of college after my freshman year, a life of adventure ...

BobSeidensteinDrawing

It takes a half village (at least) …

Americans love statistics. And even worse, they believe them. Someone’s looking for a book to read. What to do? He could go in the library and skim a few books till he finds one that grabs him. But that’d take some time and effort. So he’ll check out the Times Best Seller list, ...

What a pal we have in Paladin

Last week’s column about the cowboy movies and TV shows of my youth got more responses than I could’ve predicted. Some mentioned details I’d long forgotten. For example, Jen Zahn said she’d never forgotten how Roy Rogers would sprint full-bore at Trigger from his back and then vault ...

Bob Seidenstein rockin' some western wear.
(Enterprise photo — Brittany Proulx)

West is best

Like every kid who grew up in the ’50s I was raised on a two-part diet of processed food and cowboy movies. The food was nutritionally deficient, but miraculous. In other words, it’s a miracle any of us came of age with healthy brain cells and without pellagra, anemia and rickets. ...

Team D and D

I’m in my office (Lakeview Deli, to those who don’t know) getting ready to write this week’s Pulitzer Prize winner. I take a quick inventory Pencils? Check. Pencil sharpener? Check. Legal tab? Check. Erasers? Check. I ...

The power of prayer … and presence

The irony of winter sports: When the weather’s great for skiing, it’s lousy for skating, and vice versa. And last week when it rained and then froze, it was great for skating. Which was fine with me since I don’t ski but I do skate — in a manner of speaking. Like everyone ...