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The Inseide Dope, by Bob Seidenstein

The ride of a lifetime

Last Monday came and went with little notice, let alone any fanfare. Then again, why wouldn’t it? Just because it was the defining moment of my generation doesn’t mean its lifetime would exceed ours. I am, of course, referring to the JFK assassination. I can’t say I remember it ...

The discolor purple

It began in early July as Jen-X and I toweled off after a swim at Church Pond. “What’s that?” she said. “What’s what?” I said. “That thing on your side,” she said. “It looks like a bruise.” “I got a bruise on my side?” “Yeah, a big one,” she said. “I ...

The route to roots

I’ve always loved exploring the world of words, maybe because I had a facility for them, but I never thought it was a big deal. See, Way Back Then, such a thing wasn’t rewarded, much less even acknowledged. If you were a musical adept, a math or science whiz, a great jock, a real looker ...

NOT as simple as ABC

After I wrote last week’s column, I was afraid it’d be a major floperoo. In a general sense, the column was about the evolution of languages and the dictionary’s role in recording it. Specifically, the column was about the word “irregardless” being in the dictionary and how a ...

The write stuff

My mornings, while hardly as highly choreographed as Masonic ritual, are every bit as unvaried. I wake up late, tend to my flock and make my first pot o’ cafe du jour. After the buzz kicks in, I whip out my iPad and do what hundreds of millions of others do — namely, waste a bunch of my ...

Twenty miles and a thousand smiles

While COVID-19 has ixnayed all my travel plans, my sense of adventure has stayed untouched. And thus a pressing question: What to do for excitement within the borders of the Tri-Lakes? Frankly, as far as I’m concerned, if you’re gonna be stuck anywhere during a pandemic, this is the ...

The great escape

For years, my favorite coffee shop was Alice’s (previously named Betty’s, before that Bernie’s, and it’s now Cape Air). As far as I was concerned, it had everything going for it. The coffee was La Touraine’s highest octane — a sure way to either jump-start your heart (or send it ...

The house of nil repute

If you’re a fan of Edgar Allan Poe, you’ve probably read his short story “The Purloined Letter.” If you haven’t, it’s a fun read. It’s not one of his Gothic tales, and there’s no blood, murder, madness or even entombment. Instead, it’s a story of villainy defeated by ...

Truths — unvarnished and otherwise

Last week’s column was about the legendary local bordello, The Antlers. And when I say legendary, I mean it literally — since it never existed in reality. It was a Rural Legend at its finest — always believed but never verified. As a history maven, I tried for decades to chase down ...

The Great Dorsey Street Delusion

I heard my first urban legend when I was 13, told to me by my pal Mike Newman. It was a classic — the $150 Corvette. He said the Corvette, only a year old and in almost pristine condition, was for sale in Poughkeepsie for $150. “I don’t get it,” I said. “Why would anyone sell a ...

Lens craft

Even as a little kid, I couldn’t relate to formal ceremonies. And it didn’t matter what they were: religious, civic, school, Cub Scouts — you name it, I couldn’t relate to it. In all fairness, my alienation was probably due less to the ceremonies themselves than to my universal ...

The weighting game … and the waiting game

Since I retired, the biggest change in my life is my lack of attention to detail. Routinely, I find I’ve run out of butter or milk or bread. With laundry, it suddenly seems clean skivs have become either a faint hope or a distant memory. As for appointments? Well, I missed my last oil ...

A voyage in time

Every September, as if drawn by some psychic gravity, my thoughts turn to school. It’s only reasonable since my whole life, man and boy, was spent as either a student or a teacher. This week’s gravity drew me to my glorious student days at Potsdam State. I say “glorious” with a ...

Meet your maker

My beverage of choice is coffee and has been for more than the past half-century. I started drinking it as a social ritual at the tender age of 18 — because my friends drank coffee, I joined in. Shortly afterward, I started traveling around the country, and diners and truck stops offered a ...

Old soul

I was a fan of “soul music” long before I knew it, for the simple reason I’d never heard that term then. Instead, it was all part of rock n roll, of which I was a rabid fan. In 1956 Elvis jump-started my fanhood, and by ’57 Jerry Lee Lewis and Little Richard cemented it. After ...

Safe havens for hipsters

I clearly remember the first time I heard the Kingston Trio. It was fall 1958, I was in seventh grade, and I was at my friend Harry Pierce’s place. The reason I remember it so well is because it was also the first time I’d heard folk music. OK, if you want to get fussy about ...

If you ain’t rockin’ it, don’t be knockin’ it

A couple weeks ago I wrote a column about the rock music of my Gilded Youth, which elicited an interesting ADE Guest Commentary. In it, Steve Lester of Lake Placid attempted to explain why the music most people like is that of their adolescence and early adulthood. His source was a book, ...

The loco motive

Last week I wrote about some much-loved but hopelessly schlocky songs of my youth. Though I didn’t expect it, I got a lot of feedback from my fellow Boomers. As a result, I decided that since you can’t get enough of a bad thing, I’d devote this week’s column to rock oldies’ worst of ...

Schlock and roll

Let’s face it: We all think we are, to use that old saw, smarter than the average bear. And let’s face something else: We all can’t be. Average is average for a good reason — it’s how the numbers shake out. Add ‘em up, divide ‘em by the population, and that’s it. It’s how ...

Outtasite!

I hit the rummage sale scene as a mere tyke, not yet in double digits. My maiden voyage was the Free Library sale, and I branched out from there. Various churches held rummage sales, but from time to time they were also in the town hall, I think sponsored by the golf club (no pun intended, ...