I have been mobbed on the street by my fans — well, at least two or three – demanding a police report column, that ancient tome kept as a perfect record of everyday events: time, date and year with names changed here to protect the guilty.

Following is a sampling of the good, bad and humorous events in Saranac Lake a mere 75 years ago, starting with dogs falling through the ice.

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6:30 a.m., 4-3-42 — Call from Bill Disco [paid fire driver]. A dog in the lake off Lake Flower Avenue.Went with him dog was rescued. – Jones

8:15 p.m., 4-3-42 – Fire siren rang once. Called fire house and found out a dog was in the lake by Walter Weir’s house. Got a couple of boats and pulled dog out.

9:30 a.m., 4-4-42 — Fire alarm 15. Investigated by Chief, Duprey and Trooper Belmore. Found that John Beckman, age 42 of 2 St. Bernard Street, ground floor apartment, attempted to commit suicide by using a rubber hose attached from the gas stove in the kitchen to the bedroom, where he was found unconscious on a single bed. His wife Martha,on a single bed beside him was dead when found. Beckman was taken to the General Hospital by ambulance. Her body was taken to the Conley Funeral home. A post-mortem will be held at 4 p.m. today. — Chief

4 p.m., 4-5-42 — Troopers borrowed our dragging equipment to drag for body of boy in the Racquette River. — Wallace

10:20 p.m., 4-5-42 — Call from Arthur Sarron of 14 McComb Street who said he was having trouble with two men that had been in his house. Said he had hit one of them and that they were going down McComb Street. Investigated by Ryan and Wallace who stopped a car coming down McComb Street. The driver, Harry Waterson, was driving in an intoxicated condition and one George Canter was slumped over the seat next to him. We brought both men to the police station where we could see that Canter was in tough shape. We called Dr. Gedroiz to examine him and he said Canter had a fracture of the skull and ordered him taken to the hospital. Officer Ryan picked up Arthur Sarron for questioning. Ryan and Wallacewent to the hospital with Canter where he was treated for cuts and a bad eye. Doctor thinks there may be a concussion or fracture. Wallace stayed with Canter until relived by Jones. — Ryan & Wallace

11:50 p.m., 4-6-42 — Call from Mrs. Smith, 4 Dorsey Terrace. Some boy or young man had attacked her as she was going up the path between Dorsey Street and Dorsey Terrace. Said he had attempted to rape her. Said he was about 5’5″ with curly hair, glasses and wore a dark overcoat .We checked all over but could find no one of that description. — Ryan & Wallace

9 p.m., 4-11-42 — Police observed Bill Slattery’s car going down Main Street on the wrong side of the road. Upon stopping Slattery, Officer Ryan arrested him for driving while intoxicated. His wife called Judge Weller who came down and released him on $75.00 bail. I put this bail bond in the Chief’s safe in the drawer marked ‘Chief.’ — Ryan

9:30 p.m., 4-13- 42 — Complaint by Charles Bullard that Ernest Booker was having a fit in front of Flower’s Pharmacy. Upon advice of Dr. Trembly police gave him 11/2 grams of “Phenobarbital.” Took him home. — Higgins

4:15 a.m., 4-14-42 — Report from Glen Ryan that while coming from Bloomingdale he saw a man lying on the side of the pavement near McKillip’s farm. Probably drunk. I reported it to the State troopers. — Jones

11:59 p.m., 4-16-42 — Call from Mrs. Stack of 163 Park Avenue. Wanted police to come up there. Investigated by Ryan and Jones.Mrs. Stack said her husband had threatened to shoot himself. She wanted the gun taken out of the house. He was very drunk. I convinced him to let me have the gun until he sobered up. I have it in my locker, a double-barreled shotgun. — Jones