Whining and screaming
Parents are often screaming for solutions that will help them handle their toddler going through the stage we call the terrible ‘twos’ –especially when the twos expand into the threes, the fours, maybe even the teens and adulthood.
Yet the terrible twos really need not be terrible and in fact should be fun!
So, if you and your child want to do less whining about this stage of development, here are a few suggestions:
1. Make sure your young child is provided with adequate transition time when moving through the daily activities. Moving them abruptly from one thing to another will only result in their getting angry and frustrated.
2. Offer your toddler choices as much as possible. This helps them to feel like they have some control over their lives despite the limits you need to set. For example, don’t ask them if they want to go to the doctor — but do ask them if they want to bring their teddy bear or other favorite stuffed animal or doll along for the visit.
3. Children will whine more when they are tired, hungry, bored, overstimulated, sick or not getting enough attention. Watch for those cues and head them off before they become full blown.
4. Some parents will whine along with their child and find that their own grating voice often stops their child’s grating voice and everyone ends up laughing together. An even better approach is to praise your child when they ask for something nicely rather than in the whining voice. Avoid eye contact or giving a response to the whining and provide it immediately if the whining stops and their regular voice is used. Don’t give the indicator that whining bothers you or they will do it all the more.
5. If you yell or whine a lot, or give in to their whining, you are setting the wrong example for your toddler. Another idea is to create a whining place such as your child’s bedroom or give them a notebook to write or color in to express their frustration and replace their having to whine to you.
Hopefully tips like these will stop you and your toddler from whining when it comes to chasing the blues out of the terrible twos and make them into a terrific time for you and your toddler.
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Lewis First, MD, is Chief of Pediatrics at the Golisano Children’s Hospital at UVM Health and Chair of the Department of Pediatrics at the University of Vermont’s Larner College of Medicine. You can also catch “First with Kids” weekly on WOKO 98.9FM and MyNBC 5.


