Baby birds crying for food. (Provided photo — Diane Chase)

We’ve all been next to the person with the crying baby. If you want to get technical about the situation, we have all been that crying baby.

I recently attended an event where a mother desperately attempted to soothe her crying child. There was no amount of food, holding or nursing to please this little bundle of joy. The parent kept walking past me to get outside so the child wouldn’t disturb anyone. The poor baby was crying so loudly she could have been heard from astronauts in space. She was probably teething, tired, or suffering from other human issues. When the child finally calmed down, the poor parent kept apologizing for her child’s behavior.

I am conflicted about apologizing for a crying baby. Part of me agrees. It is always nice to acknowledge that your family, with circumstances out of your control, disrupted a group of people. It is a nice, polite action to take. That should be the end of it. Apology accepted. No reasonable person is going to blame a baby or the parents. People understand. Not everyone has children, but everyone has been a baby.

It’s not the same if a parent ignores their child who is running around a lecture hall throwing food or flames. Those circumstances can be dangerous to the child and attendees. In that case, an apology and perhaps counseling may be in order.

It didn’t matter what I said; this parent felt guilty about her child’s behavior. Years ago, we were at the doctor’s office, getting one of our kids inoculated. There was a pause of shocked silence, and then crying once our child registered the pain. We, of course, apologized because it is instinctive, like we are in control. The doctor told us something that released a lot of the guilt.

Children are supposed to cry. When they don’t cry under normal circumstances, it may be a sign of something else, like abuse or illness. Children shouldn’t have a high tolerance for pain, while adults, on the other hand, should have a high tolerance for children. I’ll put this on repeat since someone may need reminding: We’ve all been children, and not one of us was perfect.

I understand being around someone else’s crying child isn’t ideal. We need to get work done to finish or start a job, and we value our peace and quiet. It just never makes the circumstances better to complain to a new parent who is crying while unraveling the mysteries of her crying baby. Be compassionate.