Whether it’s a gold, platinum, or diamond rule, I hope we find something that helps us be empathetic, kind and communicative. (Provided photo — Diane Chase)

I’ve been instructed on the importance of the Golden Rule my whole life: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I’ve tried to practice it and educate my children using the Golden Rule. We’ve had family discussions on how to place ourselves into various scenarios.

Recently I was introduced to the Platinum and Diamond Rules. What, you say? More expensive rules? I had no idea what was happening except for a pop quiz on the Mohs Hardness Scale. (For anyone wishing to go back to geology class, the Hardness Scale is a scratch test developed by Friedrich Mohs in 1820 to help identify a mineral based on its hardness compared to another mineral. Mohs created a kit assigning ten minerals a rating with the diamond, rating 10, being the hardest mineral.) Sadly, these rules have nothing to do with Mohs or geology.

Bringing up all these different “precious mineral” rules brought me back to an ex-boyfriend who constantly made our relationship into a mindreading game. We both liked going to the theatre, so we decided to take turns picking out films to watch. I’d choose one week, and the ex would select one for the following week. It turns out that my ex decided to pick movies he thought I liked and was angry when he felt I wasn’t putting in the effort to figure out what movie he wanted to watch. If you feel reading that paragraph is confusing, try being part of the relationship. It was exhausting. Don’t worry about me. I just kept making my own choices, and we saw every foreign film within a 50-miles radius. There is a difference between spontaneous surprises, a lovely sentiment, and a daily guessing game for someone’s wishes. This experience has been an excellent example to give my children if someone ever asks them to perform clairvoyant tasks.

The Platinum Rule is generally, “Treat others how they want to be treated.” It makes sense within certain parameters. We don’t want to make someone uncomfortable, but empathy and communication are paramount, not a need for second sight.

The Diamond Rule is a bit confusing as some people categorize it as “I will treat myself how I want to be treated.” Another article states the rule is just one-upping the Platinum Rule by anticipating what people want and giving it to them. The first option is reasonable to me because we should all be kind to ourselves by knowing our boundaries in order to help others. The second version of the Diamond Rule is heavy into guesswork, which is acceptable from a business perspective. Still, it’s always better to communicate rather than speculate what someone wants. No matter what rule you are following, be nice. It goes a long way.