Being aware of when our children reach a crossroad is easier said than done. (Provided photo — Diane Chase)

Friends with older children always advise me to watch out for the crossroads. It is now my turn to share the revelation. It’s metaphorical, of course, though I do encourage everyone to ponder both figurative and literal junctions.

The only difference is when we have a specific physical destination in mind, we have maps to get us there. We can plug in an address and receive step-by-step directions. We can even choose an alternate route, but we still arrive at our desired location. No matter how much advice we receive, children still make choices on their own. As parents, we can’t control the outcome for every option, and we can’t foresee the consequences of those decisions. No one warns us if there is a traffic jam ahead, roadblock or speed trap.

We expect certain outcomes, new teachers and responsibilities, growth goals, and developmental achievements throughout our lives. We aren’t told there may be detours, obstacles, and major intersections to maneuvering life. As our parents did for us, we make daily decisions for our children when they aren’t old enough to make those choices for themselves. What do we do when our children are old enough to decide for themselves? It doesn’t mean the decisions aren’t significant because they are the ones making them. Those choices can sometimes be life-changing.

I recently had a friendly discussion with an acquaintance about staying involved without overreaching. It is a constant battle to reach a balance between trust and sound decisions. Just because you trust your children doesn’t mean they will always make the best choice. Sometimes they lack the maturity to foresee the aftereffect. With social media, it can be challenging to find out where our children are receiving their information, who they are watching online, and what impact those people have.

We continue to tell our children that if there is something they don’t feel they can share with us, it probably isn’t something they should be doing.

They make remarks about how some parents can be controlling or that even children need privacy, and I agree. As long as they are under our roof, they need to understand our rules and expectations. It is a tightrope walk with conversation breakdowns and huge learning curves. Our children will reach many junctions as they mature. The best advice I’ve ever received is to listen more and talk less. I hope all your pathways lead to success.