Are you making the world a better place? That’s a challenging question for many of us. And how do we do just that?

As a child, picking a bunch of dandelions from the lawn became a prize bouquet I’d give to my mom. The delight I experienced in the picking would have been obvious to any passerby. I’d pluck one flower … then another … then another, snapping the stems off the mother plant with a thrust of my wrist. I’d skip around, suddenly changing direction as I surveyed the assortment before me, seeking the most perfectly open ones. Then I was off again to add yet another to my growing bouquet until my hand couldn’t hold any more.

I would give my cheerful bouquet to Mom and watch her smile from ear to ear. She was happy and I was happy, too. It was a good feeling. No, it was a great feeling. It was total joy.

During my adolescent years, I starting selecting a gift for my mom at Christmas. I had begun babysitting and so had a little money I could save for my gift buying. There was a small combination gift store and coffee shop in our town. I would spend a great deal of time going there to decide on a gift for my mom. I would walk among the two aisles, looking at the vases and decorative items displayed there until I found just the right one. Of course, it had to be within my price range. And, of course, it took many trips to that store before I made my final decision. My objective — to see my mom’s ear to ear smile. I didn’t see that very often, otherwise. Life was difficult. But when I gave her my gift, her smile was always there.

The holidays and gift giving seem to go hand in hand. We try to recognize those we care about, especially now. We plan, we shop, we wrap. Then we wait with anticipation and excitement. That’s all good. But what is a gift? For me, the gift I give represents the expression of an emotion. It’s like I’m saying, “You are special to me.”

Sometimes, we don’t seem to appreciate the gift we get, like underwear every year. But we need to remember the sacrifices that were made so we could have that gift. And what the intention was. That is another aspect to consider besides, of course, the usefulness of it.

At times I select something useful, and sometimes, it’s what I call a splurge gift — not particularly useful, but something the recipient will just love and would never buy. Besides the idea of purchasing a gift, it might be possible to give something homemade, be it bread or cookies or something crafted. It could also be a coupon for a service to be provided like making and delivering dinner for someone or shoveling someone’s walk.

Seeing the surprise and joy on the person’s face is as special and gratifying to me as the gift itself. For in that moment, all cares and worries and pain seem to dissipate for the person who receives my gift. And it gives me that same soul-filled sense of joy that I experienced as a child. Gifts don’t have to cost an amount of money.

The older I become, the more important spending time has become for me. In our busy lives, we need to make time for visiting with those we love. And it doesn’t only have to be at holiday time. We can pick a bouquet of wild flowers in most seasons to share with someone and watch them smile. Or even one daisy may elicit the same response. It’s the thought, the energy we use, the time it takes and the very act of giving that is the real gift. For that leaves a lasting feeling, an uplifting feeling that may remain for days. And the memory of that action may last a lifetime. Who’s to say?

I have found it’s the little things that mean so much in this life journey we are all on. I was once part of a workshop where we were invited to sit in a circle, in groups of six. Most of us were strangers to each other. We were instructed to go around the circle and speak aloud one positive quality that we observed the person had, even if we’d never met them until that day. I don’t remember many of the comments made about me, but one comment I have never forgotten. The individual who made it worked with me in the school. She had never appeared to be a happy person to me. But, whenever I ran into her in the hallway, I always greeted her warmly.

Most times, she didn’t even respond to me at all. So when her turn came at the workshop, I waited while she progressed around our small circle.

All at once, she turned to me and said: “Debby, your smile is like a light in the darkness.” The tears began to swell in my eyes as I realized that just by being me, my smile had lent a brightness to her life that helped get her through the days. I was amazed. I felt a sense of awe arise within me. I felt blessed. I felt humbled. I had not been aware, until that moment, that my smile could have such a positive effect on someone’s life.

So, let us never forget the gift we are. We don’t have to plan. We don’t have to have forethought. Sometimes we’re not even conscious of the gift we’re giving to someone. And we can make the world a better place just because we are who we are. Really, it’s the giving of ourselves that is the greatest gift of all. And that doesn’t cost a dime.

— — —

Debby Havas is an author living in Jay. Her writings describe her experiences in the healing energies of Mother Nature.