Do you harbor any prejudices?

For much of my life, I felt that word referred to other races, religions and cultures that were different from my own. And I began to notice that sometimes the tone of people’s voices was filled with derision and disrespect when they spoke of someone different from themselves in these categories. In some cases, it seemed like outright hatred. If I were to ask these people if they were prejudiced, they would probably have responded in the negative, not even realizing that they were in a state of denial concerning the obvious.

As an adult, I’ve grown to understand how prejudice can develop and how its strength can grow. I’ve become aware of my own prejudices and all the work it takes to overcome them. But what is our reaction to the word itself? To be told we’re prejudiced is a negative evaluation of how we express opinions and how we behave towards the object of our prejudice. It is the epitome of dislike with the added quality of generalization. We can become uncomfortable with and develop a dislike for someone for any number of reasons; that is part of being human. But when we allow that dislike to gain strength and encompass an entire group, we are dabbling in the realm of prejudice. And it can evolve into hatred.

Prejudice extends to people we’ve never met, places we’ve never visited, lifeforms or objects we’ve never even seen. And yet we express or behave towards each of them as though they were the original single source of our dislike. And it can happen unconsciously. It’s like we think we have a right to feel this way. Maybe we need to ask ourselves where that belief came from.

In my case, my brother was 15 years older than me. He returned from the Korean War with a deep prejudice against a race of people. As he was my hero and I was a child at the time, I absorbed his attitude. I eventually went to college. On my dormitory floor, I was exposed to many races of people, races I had never seen before. Among the many was a girl who was of the race my brother had grown to hate. I, of course, avoided her for weeks. Then I began running into her. She was always friendly and had a nice smile. I watched her interact with the other girls and I found nothing offensive in her words or behaviors. I began to hang out around her and we became friends. I never mentioned it to my brother. I realized I had absorbed his prejudice without even knowing a person of that race. I knew I hadn’t had my brother’s experience in the war. I hadn’t been there. Still, I didn’t have to agree with his extension of hatred to the entire race. I could choose not to accept the prejudice I had absorbed. It was my choice.

We can also sometimes form a prejudice against others by their class, their income, their profession. Do we look down on street cleaners and garbage collectors? How do we refer to them? What tone of voice do we use in conversation? What are we thinking, even if we don’t speak a word?

Things happen to us personally or to those we love or to those we admire. It is our choice as to how we respond. As we look to Mother Nature, I see no evidence of prejudice against any part of the natural world. Instead, I see understanding, acceptance and patience as she mothers us all.

Nature presents us with her own challenges. One day, a friend left an apple on his kitchen table where the screened window was open. He went away for the afternoon and when he returned, there was a hole in the screen. The culprit was a squirrel. Though that squirrel was long gone, the man went out each day, hunting squirrels, any squirrel, all squirrels, since he didn’t know which one had invaded his home. He had definitely allowed his dislike to become a prejudice. Now he hated all squirrels. He took no ownership of the fact he had left the apple beside an open window.

Mother Nature graces her creatures with ingenuity in order to survive. That’s what this squirrel had used. The squirrel was not intentionally trying to frustrate the man and destroy the screen; he was just looking for food. It is the man who needed to take responsibility for having placed the food in the squirrel’s path. And, just maybe, he could have spent a little time observing the squirrel population and admiring them for their strength and agility instead of letting hate descend.

Mother Nature allows weakness in her natural world. She allows her creatures to make mistakes. But is it our right to harbor prejudices against her life forms and seek their destruction?

Many people have a prejudice against spiders or against snakes. And then there are those who obsess over dandelions, eliminating them from their lawns via herbicides or just by digging them out. I happened upon a priest doing just that by his church. I greeted him and asked what he was doing. He replied that he was getting rid of all the weeds. I kindly reminded him that a weed is just another misplaced wildflower. But he just kept on digging. I came away thinking it would be more kindly to just dig out and then transplant the dandelions instead of destroying all of them. They do have a purpose in the cycle of life.

So, let’s begin to recognize our prejudices, be accountable for them and find harmless solutions. May we become more aware, observing the beauty in everything we see. And let’s remember that when weakness and imperfection confront us, we have a choice. Instead of allowing hatred to overtake us, we need only look to Mother Nature as our guide.

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Debby Havas is an author living in Jay. Her writings describe her experiences with the healing energies of Mother Nature.