We expect we’re not the only ones giving Mother’s Day greetings a day late, but “better late than never,” as mothers would say.

Sometimes, what to do on Mother’s Day comes together easily. Some have the routine down — every Mother’s Day we do the same things. Some moms are great at telling their families exactly what they’d like. Sometimes everyone in the family knows what Mom would like without having to ask her. Sometimes you finally settled on something that worked last year and you do it again. Some moms (maybe most moms) will love anything you do as long as you do it with love. Sometimes, especially in the past year’s pandemic isolation, all they really want is a nice conversation.

It doesn’t always work out smoothly. Some moms are clear about what they DON’T want — no flowers, please, or they’d rather eat at home and would enjoy it much more if they cook, or you know they’ll never use that gift certificate — but are vague on offering ideas to grateful children/spouses trying to satisfy their consciences. No, they’re not trying to make you feel guilty; they’re feeling guilty themselves about the attention. They’re following a very typical motherly instinct, to divert attention away from themselves, maybe in hopes that you’ll forget about it and they can get back to caring about you.

It’s very nice of them, even if it doesn’t help much in satisfying your national Mother’s Day duty. We can’t give you much advice on how to do that, but we can reassure you that even if things between you and your mom get downright neurotic, the point of this holiday — and motherhood in general — is love.

Humans and animals are programmed for motherly love — caring for another being, making sure it not only survives but thrives, teaching it, obsessing over it. Even those who never knew their mothers, or those who don’t have children know this love. It’s in our nature, and motherhood is its most obvious example.

So to all the children and mothers out there, try your best to be loving in actions and words. Send your loving intentions up to the heavens in your mind as a prayer to whatever higher power you believe in. Just do whatever you can. Love isn’t a one-shot event like Mother’s Day; it’s an ongoing project for as long as we live. Keep working on that, whether or not you get Mother’s Day right.