I’ve never understood the type of parent who thinks they know everything. I’m in awe.

I’m the parent who gave my kids a disclaimer: “I have never been a parent of a (insert age) child experiencing (insert issue) before, but I’m going to do my best to love and support you.”

Sometimes there was anger, confusion, or a lot of “why don’t you know anything.” I felt it was better to be upfront with my children, telling them straight away that being a parent isn’t always knowing everything. It didn’t mean we didn’t have rules to follow. We need to adapt to the changing situations.

Parenting is challenging. Being a parent doesn’t mean you always align culturally, morally or spiritually with your co-parent’s child-rearing practices. You may not even be co-parenting with someone else. According to the Pew Research Center, the United States has the world’s highest rate, 23%, of children living in single-parent households. Single parents, foster parents, grandparents or caregivers may be the people struggling to figure out the best way to raise a young human. If that isn’t difficult enough, we need to label our parenting style.

The National Library of Medicine identifies four primary parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and uninvolved. Here are a few highlights:

The authoritative parent provides support and a nurturing environment through two-way communications, with set rules and expectations, while fostering independence and confidence. Authoritarian parents engage in one-way communication, establishing strict rules followed by punishment. Permissive parents create a friendship role between child and parent, allowing the child to navigate issues independently with open communication, often allowing children to make their own decisions. The last role is that of the uninvolved parent, providing the most freedom with minimal expectations. They may provide basic needs, but provide little guidance and may remain emotionally unattached.

Let’s not forget about the tiger (prioritizing achievement with strict discipline), the elephant (prioritizing emotional well-being over academic achievement), the helicopter (hovering over and micromanaging the child), or the lighthouse (a stable, reliable influence) parenting styles. You can also free-range or hummingbird your kids.

Don’t let someone else pigeonhole you. The problem is there will always be another, better term to classify raising another human.

It is fine to know terms and concepts, but it can be limiting to plug ourselves into one particular role. At various times, I’m sure my children thought I was an authoritarian, while my mother-in-law saw me free-ranging my kids. It’s about balance.

If we choose to typecast ourselves, let’s hope we are the type of caregivers who show up for children. Good luck!