Perhaps we consider rebranding Blackfly Season as part of a new health care initiative, a new Adirondack Bloodletting? “Donate a pint (of blood) for clean water initiatives.” That sounds disgusting but stick with me. I can usually get to the point. How about an homage to the 1800s sanitoriums and Gilded Age with a bit of a vampire twist? I know I’m tossing a lot of ideas out there, but what if blackflies were a tourist attraction instead of a deterrent?

People could get blood drawn the traditional way by professionals in a hospital, but having a blackfly take your blood to feed their poor, starving children is a humanitarian effort.

Wouldn’t a “Blackfly road race” be more authentic if people had to run through hordes of blackflies? The themes are endless. The Adirondacks and our blackflies could be an episode of the Survivor TV show. We’d have a blood bank, but for blackflies. I’m getting off-topic from the health care/resort aspect and drifting toward a dystopian-themed novel.

Blackflies, also known as buffalo gnats for their humped-back thorax, aren’t just bloodsuckers but do sip nectar, which helps pollinate plants. Their tendency to snack on a warm-blooded meal earns them a fearful reputation. Once the blackflies mate, the female needs a blood meal to help develop her eggs. The females make tiny scissor-cuts in each host for the necessary blood, like the vampires they are. Since blackflies lay their eggs in moving rivers and streams, their presence is an indication of clean water. Therefore, we all need to do our part for the environment.

If we wanted to bring in all the scary things, we could offer leeches as a blackfly after-effect. The blackfly drinks the blood, and the blood donation produces eggs, which indicates the clean water. (It sounds like a song and the lyrics are writing themselves.) Then, we use the leech’s saliva to coagulate the cut. That seems like a hiker’s paradise.

I am just here to give some ideas. I will stick with the more traditional hiking package since I’ve given plenty of blackfly blood donations throughout the years. I’ll continue to use a bug deterrent and dress in my lovely bug net. People are willing to do some crazy things, so is it really that insane to make getting bitten by blackflies a tourist attraction? Yes. Yes, it is. Good luck!