I was recently speaking to a friend whose middle child was going to get engaged over the weekend. She will receive a proposal, but whether she accepts could be the topic of another discussion. There were numerous people around the table, each sharing their engagement moments.

Growing up, I never gave much thought to the logistics of an engagement. When it did happen, I didn’t even realize my husband was proposing to me. He had to really “slow-motion” explain what was happening — the poor guy. I asked him for a redo.

I have also been in the middle of two engagement scenarios. I was taking an early morning walk on a beach, and this fellow dropped to his knees as I passed by. In his defense, he was nervous and thought they were alone. I kept walking and left them to their business. The second time I disrupted an engagement, I was hiking in Lake George, took the wrong trail and ended up on a herd path to the summit. I climbed over a rock wall and slid backward, landing right between a couple as the future groom went down on one knee. Both incidents were quiet affairs, and I hope they had some redoing. At the very least, they have a weird story to tell.

The most recent engagement conversation revolved around expectations regarding this future family member. Would he pull off the perfect engagement? What is an ideal engagement? Why is it just one person’s responsibility to provide the perfect experience for another when two people are starting this new chapter of their relationship?

I weighed in on the curated events, wondering if the pressure of having an entourage involved is too extreme. Someone picks out the ring, asks the family, organizes the surprise and gets a photographer to document the event. Are there pre-proposals where people have a secret engagement and then come back and stage their next engagement to fulfill expectations? Is one way better than the other? Other people felt that some effort needed to happen. We all agreed that no one is asking for our opinion, and the goal is for the couple to be happy.

I hope that the people involved know their significant other. Some people want a massive statement, while others prefer a quiet event. There could also be someone who may not even understand she is getting engaged. By the way, the person in question did say yes. Shockingly, neither person needed our input on how to make the event meaningful to them.