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Parents have been refusing to stop asking me questions about how to handle their stubborn toddler.

I need to provide some firm information on this topic, so here goes.

Negativism and stubbornness are a normal phase that most children go through between 18 months and three years of age, although, some of us carry it with us into adulthood.

It begins when children realize they have the power to refuse others’ requests. They will say no and be stubborn just to test this out, even when they want to say yes.

Has your child has drawn a line in the sand?

If so, here are a few suggestions:

— Don’t take this normal behavior too personally.

— Their saying “no” actually means “Do I have to?” rather than disrespect. Enjoy this phase because it signifies that your child is gaining independence and their own identity; a wonderful thing for children to experience.

— Don’t punish your child for saying no.

— Use “time outs” for what they do, but not for what they say. If you argue about their refusal to do something, it will just prolong the behavior.

— Give them choices. The best way to still give your child control without their having to resort to being stubborn is to give them choices. Some things, such as sitting in the car seat, are not open for discussion… but, they can certainly choose which stuffed animal is going with them in the car seat.

— Build in space. Another way to avoid this behavior is to build transition time into their activities, particularly the fun ones, or they will not want to stop and the battle with your stubborn toddler will ensue.

— ­Be mindful of your words. Try not to say no to your child so much. If so, your child will mimic your behavior and say no all the more.

Hopefully, tips like these will allow you to make the right choices when it comes to celebrating, rather than resenting, your toddler’s stubbornness.

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Lewis First, MD, is Chief of Pediatrics at The University of Vermont Children’s Hospital and Chair of the Department of Pediatrics at the University of Vermont’s Larner College of Medicine. You can also catch “First with Kids” weekly on WOKO 98.9FM and NBC5.