Gardening is one chore that isn’t seen as a benefit to all members of the family. (Provided photo — Diane Chase)

When my children were very young, we began giving them chores based on age-appropriate play. We cooked or stacked wood. We tried to make everyday tasks fun. I didn’t consider the amount of encouragement required to get things done. I found I was constantly nudging and reminding. Nudging grew to lists, changing to chores and evolving to full-blown nagging. Nagging got results, but no one ever left happy. Nagging didn’t always happen, but I fell into a pattern. My children will argue that my goal was to find a scientific study in favor of chores. They would be correct.

The Harvard Grant Study began following the lives of 268 undergraduates from the 1942, 1943 and 1944 classes to measure success. It ran consecutively with the Glueck Study following 458 disadvantaged, non-delinquent inner-city young men. Yes, this study has its faults. It is conducted only on white men, but these are the longest continuous studies of their kind. With only a handful of the original cohort alive, the research was the first to show that “the warmth of relationships throughout life have the most positive impact on satisfaction.” The person’s financial status doesn’t reflect happiness; it is maintaining a healthy balance and positive role models. Secondly, building a strong work ethic at a young age provides a pathway to success. When they grow up, those children are more apt to complete tasks.

As we all know, and I just addressed, building a work ethic itself is hard work, let alone the already challenging job of parenting. I sometimes didn’t have the patience to teach the lesson if one of my kids didn’t complete the chore. I needed things to get done. I wanted to be consistent and have the kids clean up their messes. But I also wanted a jelly-free countertop.

As my children grew older, I couldn’t put the energy into constantly nagging. We transitioned to mini-family business meetings. My husband and I became the secretaries of our family. If work wasn’t completed, we made notes instead of going right into nagging. Some weekly meetings dealt with the now — scheduling, chores and activities — but other sessions gave our children the opportunity to be part of their future. We’d discuss finances, jobs and future dreams so we could get into our family’s business.

During dinner we discuss sports, school and our workday. The family meeting is about what tasks didn’t get done, future schedules, and what are fair consequences. These gatherings weren’t hour-long business board meetings but mini-sessions where we could make our children part of the decision process. We discuss what our expectations are and what needs to get done. Did all the nagging stop, and did everyone perform on task? No. It just gave my family another avenue for open conversation.

Bottom line: Science proves chores help you succeed, and sometimes a mini-family business meeting can limit nagging. You are welcome.