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Potty talk

A fancy outhouse (Provided photo — Diane Chase)

Nothing can bring giggles to children of all ages (yes, I’m mostly speaking about adults) like some potty talk. I’m not sure why it’s always funny hearing grown people giggle when something completely inappropriate comes out of someone else’s mouth. Of course, I’ve been there, lived it and laughed about it.

I was once tasked with driving the elders in my family to a reunion. One particularly outspoken elderly aunt searched for “a public convenience” in a restaurant. My relative then asked the server for the commode or lavatory. Her voice rose as she listed various names for the utility room. The last words I heard were “the John.” The two people turned to me as if I was an interpreter while I whispered, “toilet.”

Though an old-fashioned term, referring to the toilet as a John isn’t an archaic insult to those carrying a similar moniker. According to a convoluted Google search, Sir John Harrington, Queen Elizabeth I’s godson, is credited with inventing the first flush toilet. (Thank you, John.) Though it seems Sir John called his invention Ajax, which was shortened to Jack.

Lavatory comes from the Latin word “lavare,” which evolved during the Middle Ages to refer to the lavatorium, a communal washroom in monasteries. The French term “toilette” is a dated term referencing a room for washing, dressing and making a person presentable. After the 17th century, toilette was shortened, referring to the apparatus instead of the room for freshening oneself. These words involved an interior room used only for washing up as other business took place in either a chamber pot or an exterior “outhouse.” An outhouse became informally referred to as “the bog,” which makes sense for anyone who has used a privy or dry toilet. Campers, we see you.

If you’re on a boat, the facilities are known as “the head.” Initially, the ship’s bow housed the toilet, allowing seawater to wash away any waste. Other places have simple terms such as The Ladies, The Gents, Water Closet (WC) or Loo.

Chamber pots, placed under beds, were used to relieve oneself but had to be emptied outside. Going to the Loo is primarily a British term, but it is derived from the French phrase, “guardez l’eau” (watch the water) as people warned walkers in the streets below as they chucked the contents from their chamber pots out windows. A restroom or powder room originally included a separate room from the lavatory so guests could freshen up from those long stagecoach rides. Asking for the bathroom is familiar enough, but the term originated from the home setting where a bathtub is part of the room.

There are plenty of other terms to bring out the potty talk in all of us because when you have to go, you have to go. I’ve decided, by royal decree, you may use the throne at my house.

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