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Mother’s Day celebrations

Spring flowers in celebration of Mother’s Day. (Provided photo — Diane Chase)

There are so many emotions wrapped up in the journey to motherhood. There are good mothers and bad ones. Some mothers are absent by choice or by decree. Indifference is one thing that doesn’t come to motherhood. We don’t usually hear the views toward our parents, our role in parenting, or our wish not to parent met with a casual shrug. The very definition of mothering is one who nurses, tends, rears, and cherishes.

Mother’s Day in the United States is right around the corner, while a different Mother’s Day has recently passed. International Bereaved Mother’s Day is on the first Sunday in May, while Mother’s Day is on the second Sunday in May. The first event honors individuals who have lost children and recognizes people unable to have children — the second event pays tribute to the role of motherhood.

International Bereaved Mother’s Day was started in 2010 by Australian mother Carly Marie Dudley to memorialize her stillborn child’s life and her pathway to motherhood. The day continues to help destigmatize the grief, isolation, and pain of losing a child while promoting healing and honoring these losses.

The traditional Mother’s Day celebration began in 1907 when Anna Jarvis, a Philadelphia schoolteacher, petitioned influential business people and legislators to establish a day to honor all mothers. In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson dedicated the second Sunday in May “as a public expression of love and reverence for the mothers of our country.”

Though Jarvis spent years trying to create a formal day to honor mothers, she later petitioned the courts to have Mother’s Day disbanded because she became disillusioned with the holiday’s commercialization. Jarvis then lobbied businesses to donate a percentage of the Mother’s Day profits back to women and children in need. She was unsuccessful.

My favorite celebration is the Mother’s Day of Peace, organized by Julia Ward Howe, author of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” Howe’s Mother’s Day Proclamation encouraged mothers to rally for peace. Howe wanted mothers to bond together to promote peace and activism.

I struggled with my parenting journey. Four miscarriages, grieving, and feeling inadequate make me appreciate a woman’s decision to be a mother, not be a mother, adopt, foster, or be child-free. I hope we can celebrate the mothering figures while forgiving people incapable of mothering. Every day should be a Mother’s Day of Peace, where we find a place to embrace or forgive — a space where we honor lost mothers and broken ones. I hope you all find peace.

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