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Allergic to Pumpkin Spice Season?

It’s the season to get anything flavored with pumpkin spice, even the dog. (Provided photo — Diane Chase)

I’m going to put all the emotions out there. I’m protesting pumpkin spice season. I remember a time when it was known as autumn. It was the time to break out cozy sweaters, pick apples and watch the changing leaves. It was idyllic. Then in 2003, Starbucks bulldozed the public with the first frothy spiced latte to replicate the homespun Thanksgiving dessert. It’s been a competition ever since, with businesses trying to out-spice their competitors.

Thanks to their shortsightedness, we can find the mixture of pumpkin puree, ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon,

and clove peddled in everything

from candles to crackers. It’s

sensory overload as market shelves showcasing the spicy combination fill the aisles. Some of the oddest additions to the pumpkin spice universe I found are salmon, hot dogs, chips, hummus, pasta sauce and dog shampoo.

The final insult is to find out that pumpkin puree isn’t even made with pumpkins but with the Dickinson squash. Yes. I understand pumpkin is a type of squash, but most pumpkin varieties don’t make the best pies. I’m guessing Squash Spice Latte didn’t have the same marketing capabilities. I can hear the marketing executives brainstorming, “Let’s put together ingredients for a squash coffee featuring a fruit most parents have to force their children to eat.” Twenty years later and squash spiced coffee has made history. No one could have predicted the pumpkin spice obsession.

I’m not suggesting we rid the world of pumpkin pie. It is my sister’s favorite dessert. I’ve managed to choke down slices to honor her birthdays. I do feel the pumpkin spice market is saturated.

I propose a Pumpkin Spice Free Zone. Coffee shops can cordon off a table for anyone with an intolerance for the fall flavoring. We can band together while we patiently wait for what truly matters: peppermint mocha season. I’ll start on the protest and yard signs. Who’s with me?

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