We can’t stop the wildlife from being bad neighbors, but we can control our own behavior. (Photo provided — Diane Chase)

A recent study shows that if you don’t think you have any bad neighbors, you may actually be the bad neighbor. I speak and live this from experience. A few years ago, my husband explained a teaching seminar where the speaker delved into the philosophy of looking at one’s own behavior before criticizing someone else’s actions. I was waxing poetic about how lucky we are with our community. We don’t have any bad neighbors. This neighbor always stops to say hello. This person is so considerate when throwing a party. As I continued to list all my neighbors’ amazing qualities, we pulled into our driveway to a springtime frog chorus with backup from seven hens. I turned to my husband in horror and told him, “I think we are the bad neighbors.”

There are certain gifts and takeaways from a pandemic. Some circumstances were out of our control, while other things gave us a chance to view our surroundings through a different lens. Though I can’t control the wildlife singing in a pond, I can decide when I put my hens outside. Though I can’t control the weather, I can control when we mow our lawn. (That’s just an example. We’ve never mowed the lawn in the early hours because it’s our children’s job. I don’t think that needs further explanation.) We were able to help other people just as they helped us.

We don’t always have a full circus at our house, but through the pandemic and New York State regulations, it felt like we did. We depended heavily on the patience of our neighbors. I had various student “study groups” at our house, outdoor gatherings, game nights, and hangouts. My family made the rounds to my neighbors, letting them know that there could be various cars parked alongside our road. If my child wanted friends over, we delivered notes to let people know it may be loud outside. Regulations and a vulnerable household member meant utilizing any outdoor space. Through the process, we met people in the neighborhood we hadn’t known before. We knocked on doors and kept our distance while introducing ourselves to unfamiliar people.

I can’t thank my community enough for their patience. I’m not sure they even thought my requests were outlandish or even an inconvenience. Each household just willingly agreed to help without hesitation.

I hope my family learned that we always have neighbors, no matter where we live. If we rent a house or go on holiday, being a good neighbor isn’t a faucet that gets turned on and off at will. It is a constant work in process. I want us to continue to strive toward being good neighbors at home, work and school.