(Provided photo)

With prom season here, parents have been staying awake worrying whether their teens will follow the curfew rules they set — or whether their rules for a curfew are the right ones.

Well, let me see if I can help everyone rest easy on the subject of curfews.

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Why have a curfew?

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A good way to institute a curfew is to begin by discussing why you are instituting one.

While your teen might believe your instituting a curfew suggests that you don’t trust them, it is important that they and you realize a curfew is not about trust.

A curfew is an active way to show concern for your child’s well-being and safety and should be presented in just that way.

Telling your child that setting a curfew allows them to get adequate sleep for school or sports often makes this feel more like you are helping rather than restricting their independence.

A curfew will also teach your teen how to set limits for themselves to ensure that they take responsibility for themselves — since they will have to do this if they want to do well at college or with a job after high school when they are on their own.

In setting the curfew time, it is great to ask your teen what seems reasonable so as to get added buy-in. However, the curfew time needs to be set by both caregivers and teens together.

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Making a curfew work

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— Set the curfew time in advance and be specific about the time and concise in setting it.

— Put all important rules in writing with a curfew contract, such as making sure a curfew does not interfere with getting schoolwork done first.

— Establish a check-in rule that requires your teen to say good night to you when they come in, even if you are asleep. Doing so can prevent them from engaging in risk-taking behaviors like drinking or drugs if they need to let you know in person that they are home and OK.

— Remind your teen not to speed on the road if they are running late — better they get home safe, even if it’s a few minutes late. A call that they’re stuck in traffic or there is car trouble can make both of you feel better, if that is happening.

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How about missed curfews?

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If a curfew is missed, tell your teen you are glad they are home safe, but wait until the next day to discuss consequences.

A missed curfew should not be automatic grounding, but perhaps an earlier time that your teen needs to be home.

Adherence to a curfew may enable you to extend the time or be more flexible with setting future curfew times as a reward.

Hopefully, tips like these will not keep you or your child up late at night when it comes to knowing more about the benefits of instituting a curfew.

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Lewis First, MD, is Chief of Pediatrics at The University of Vermont Children’s Hospital and Chair of the Department of Pediatrics at the University of Vermont’s Larner College of Medicine. You can also catch “First with Kids” weekly on WOKO 98.9FM and NBC5.