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The New Year’s that took the cake

December 31, 2015 In the Navy, I was a Morse code intercept operator, stationed in Germany on an army base. Never even saw a navy ship and no, don’t go figure. We worked in one of two schedule. more »»

So what if the weather outside is frightful?

December 24, 2015 Although almost every witticism attributed to an American is credited to Mark Twain, a lot of them were never uttered by Twain himself. more »»

Taking the cakes

December 18, 2015 If you’re a thoroughly rotten human being, there’s a multitude of ways to be remembere. more »»

Isolation cells

December 11, 2015 When the phone jolted me awake, I snapped up, feeling my heart hammering its way out of my chest. I groped around for the handset, finally succeeding on my fourth pass. more »»

Hip replacements

December 4, 2015 Something that’s always intrigued me is the disconnect between language and the people who purport to be its experts. more »»

Where there’s a Wilmart, there’s a way

November 27, 2015 When Jack Frost made his most recent appearance, in addition to hauling out my stash of long johns, scarves, mittens, parkas and toques, I checked my skates. The news wasn’t goo. more »»

Seeing the forest for the trees

November 20, 2015 Let’s face it, old people are the enemy. Maybe not yours or mine, but America’s in general and its politicians in particular. Point one: our health care. more »»

Pat Bentley and the short arm of the law

November 13, 2015 In my dotage, I rarely leave the confines of my palatial digs. The one surefire exception is Thursday evenings when I travel to my second-favorite town, Tupper Lake. more »»

Pill poppin’ in My Home Town

November 6, 2015 Last Sunday at the Elks Club was Little Joe Gladd’s celebration of life, and it was just that — a celebration. more »»

Doin’ the write thing

October 30, 2015 “So,” said Joe Dadey, “You gonna watch the debates tonight?” “Why would I do that?” I said. “You mean you’re not?” he said. “Not if you paid me. more »»

There, but for one preposition, go I

October 23, 2015 I am, and have always been, an unabashed Saranac Lake chauvinist. To me, this is the best place in the world. Period. more »»

Fool’s gold

October 16, 2015 Over the years, I’ve learned that each life stage has specific characteristics. The main characteristic of this stage for me, too often referred to as The Golden Years, is the vicissitudes of t. more »»

Ands, ifs and mutts

October 9, 2015 One of a teacher’s vital skills is patience, something I believe I had during my years in the classroo. more »»

In — and out — of the limelight

October 2, 2015 My childhood pal Peter McIntrye and I were in the Downhill Grill doing what we do best — shmoozing. And not surprisingly, the conversation centered on The Good Old Days. Ah, yes, TGOD. more »»

The death of a swinger

September 25, 2015 As I said in my last column, I neither play golf nor watch it. As for the people who do? Luckily, there’s enough room on planet Earth for all of us to do our respective thing and still get along. more »»

The King of Clubs

September 18, 2015 Whenever someone says to me, “Hey, I’ve got a great idea for your column,” my mind goes blank. It’s not that the suggestions are bad — sometimes they’re downright brilliant. more »»

A lad and his lamp (part 2)

September 11, 2015 Last week’s column began with me searching for a floor lamp — one at a bargain price. Now, when I say bargain price, I don’t mean at 10 percent off retail price, or even 75 percent off. Uh-uh. more »»

A lad and his magic lamp

September 4, 2015 “You know what this house needs?” said the Amazon Queen. “‘Course I do,” I said. “You do?” she said. “What?” “A million bucks and a French maid,” I said. She scowled. more »»

Long live The King … and his Court

August 28, 2015 When it comes to fanaticism, ISIS has nothing on sports fans, and when I say sports fans, I don’t mean the casual ones but the 100 percent, dyed-in-the-spandex variety. more »»

Don Collins’ greatest lesson

August 21, 2015 I’ve never been much for rituals, especially of the funereal type. But sometimes, to steal an Arthur Miller quote, “attention must be paid.” And so last Saturday, I found myself in the St. more »»



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