(Provided photo — Melinda Walton)

Mending fences has been on my mind. “Good fences make good neighbors,” as the saying goes. So is that what we’re supposed to do, figure out a way to repair damaged relationships with our neighbors, family, friends? It is our nature, I suppose. We mend fences so we can get along.

As the pandemic shutdown unfolded, life narrowed. Work changed. Socializing essentially disappeared. While social media revved to a fevered pitch, it became less social and more agitating. Politics spiraled out of control. Where was it all going to end? Serendipity left the scene. No longer could we have all the random, pleasant, everyday interactions or annoyances that had once defined our days and connected us.

Trying to make the most of what is, some tried to optimistically tackle long-delayed projects, neglected hobbies or new learning in our isolations. Adapting to life from home, school from home, work from home or no work was a struggle. Zoom to the rescue. Early Zoom meetings were novel, interesting, frustrating. Weeks stretched to months. Winter blurred into spring. Summer vacations, events, plans, canceled one after another. Every time gatherings spiked, new cases spiked soon after. Reaching out began to feel like just one more chore, another exercise in frustration. Isolation does not suit human nature. Even introverts eventually missed people. Pandemic weariness set in.

At a time when we all needed each other more than ever, we were isolated and becoming more and more divided over politics. Emotions ran ever higher, and many relationships broke under the strain. Social media felt antisocial. Politics swirled like oil in the water of life, never mixing well, just separating. Separating. Families divided, friendships severed, unfriending right and left.

It felt like the wave would never crest. One thing after another. Every day, new lows, onslaught after onslaught. It was relentless. Slowly, slowly, though, it feels the tide is ebbing. As year two of the pandemic begins, spring nears, and there is some hope. Vaccinations are gathering momentum. Will we laugh together and hug again by summer?

Even as the pandemic tide starts to run out, the slippery oily residue of politics remains. We have work to do, fences to tend, relationships to repair. Politics. There’s no easy fix, but it can be done. It’s not impossible. I think of my parents — one a Democrat and one a Republican. Despite cancelling out each other’s votes every election, except one, for more than 60 years, they are still together.

Growing up with that political backdrop just outside of D.C. allowed an appreciation of a wider view on politics. For a laugh, and to head off volatile political discussions, I used to say I could argue on either side of any fence. Over time, though, I preferred instead to find common ground. It’s more neighborly and makes for better conversation. Political fences seem more broken than ever before, and the prospect of mending them feels insurmountable. How to even begin? Yeah, their bum got in, or their bum lost; it’ll come back around in time and your bum will lose, or your bum will win. As The Who song goes, “Pick up my guitar and play, just like yesterday …” We have so much more in common than what divides us.

After doing the easiest thing for weeks — ignoring it all and pretending it would go away — I realized I need to reach out. Enough time has passed, there’s a new landscape, but without the friends or family we turned away from, or who turned away from us, the landscape is a shadow of what it once was. We have to do the work.

Reaching out isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. Like a bitter medicine. It’ll make us better. The pandemic spotlighted some hard truths. We don’t have forever, and we don’t know what changes will come, or how they’ll affect us, but we have each other, we have now. Most of us have been more isolated than we’ve ever experienced. We can’t say it doesn’t matter what another’s politics are because this time it hit so much more intensely. But you can love the person and not love the action. Parents continue to love and nurture their kids, even when those kids do things the parents don’t like or want them to do. My parents have made their bipartisan marriage work for decades. We CAN all recover from this, and find a path forward.

We just have to start trying. Reach out. A little at a time. Instead of looking at the large picture, talk about specific things. The vaccine — if you got it, when you can get it, if the reaction was bad, how your folks are doing, and when we think borders might open. News that movie theaters may open, sugaring season has arrived, and restrictions are easing around the country, has us feeling that we’ve turned the corner on this winter of discontent. Calendar spring is imminent, there’s more daylight, and moods are lifting. Along with thoughts of seeds and gardens to come, we can be outside more, reaching out, sharing our common good. There’s something to be said for ignoring a problem ’til tempers simmer … but, everyday, we need to keep living as the good neighbors we are. Driving around town, looking for a picture, most of the fences I saw were buried under snow. I looked for a long time. And you know what I noticed? We don’t have a lot of fences in this town. I think that says something about our community. Something good. We don’t need fences between us. As winter recedes and the snow subsides, the few fences will be revealed, and we can work on mending fences, or maybe even taking them down. Together.

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(Editor’s note: We are happy to welcome back Melinda Walton, who previously wrote a column for the Enterprise from 2014 to 2016.)