I know in our household most of the conversations surrounding Memorial Day weekend usually center around a summer kickoff and unused “snow days.” It rarely focuses on the actual reason for the holiday. It becomes about barbecues, parades, and other celebratory activities. Sometimes we need a nudge to make sure to never forget those brave men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country.

There also seems to be a bit of confusion about the difference between Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day. It’s all in the name, I tell my children. It’s all in the name.

Memorial Day always takes place the last Monday in May. First known as Decoration Day, this day of remembrance began a few years after the Civil War. The objective was to decorate the graves and headstones of the deceased with flowers and to honor those who had lost their lives. Memorial Day became an official holiday in 1971. Fun Fact: Waterloo (near Lake Ontario) is known as the official birthplace of Memorial Day. There is even a museum.

Veterans Day also started out with a different name. Armistice Day was enacted to honor the ending of World War 1, Nov. 11, 1918. After the United States military served through World War II and the Korean War, in 1954 the word Armistice, which is a cease-fire or peace agreement, was changed to Veteran. Now Veterans’ Day honors all American veterans of all wars.

My family has been fortunate that our veterans have returned home safe and sound. Not every family is so lucky. I always want my children to understand that some holidays are not just another candy-receiving opportunity. I want them to remember that sometimes a holiday allows other people a chance to grieve while giving the rest of us the ability to acknowledge their loss. We can always have the BBQ, lawn games, parades, and summer fun. We can also take a moment to remember all those men and women who did not return to be with their families. I wish you all well this Memorial Day!

Diane Chase is the author of the Adirondack Family Time guidebook series.

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