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Banana dating application

January 28, 2009
By GEOFF HAYWARD

SingleBananas.com Online Dating Application

Name: Joe Banana

Age: Still green and pretty hard to the touch.

Article Photos

Heartbreak ensues when a young orange in love discovers his girflriend’s icebox infidelities.
(Photos courtesy of YouTube)

Body type: Appealing (pun intended - a little banana humor there). 100-150 grams or so.

I am a: Banana seeking citrus.

You'll find me: On a table, in a basket or at the bar. I grew up in a tropical environment, so I prefer not to be put in the fridge. But I might for the right fruit : )

Favorite musicians: Bananarama, Harry Belafonte. Just the other day, I was watching a YouTube video of his first-ever televised version of "Banana Boat Song" on the Muppets. It was magical. Fozzy was hilarious.

What are you looking for in a woman? I work out, so my perfect fruit has to be physically fit - no pear shapes please, and no bumps or bruises. I kind of have a "thing" for oranges. No nectarines - I'm not into that.

Have you recently seen any movies you like? I did actually watch a touching YouTube video the other day called "Malaise de L'Orange." It was about an orange who cheated on her boyfriend with a banana. It was pulpy, but ended well.

Do you smoke? No.

How would you describe yourself? Ripe. Lovable. Edible.

Likes: The name game, banana phones, old-style bikes with those really big seats, cream pies, hammocks, and, of course, my daughter, Joanna Chiquita.

Dislikes: Monkeys, the constant phallic references, being alone.

If I could say one thing to my future girlfriend, I would say: There's a whole bunch to love about dating a banana. I've got a thick skin, but on the inside, I'm really a softy.

Name two of your best attributes: I'm a good source of fiber and can be stored indefinitely frozen.

Describe your ideal first date: You, my lady orange, would roll over to my basket, where I would begin by gently exfoliating your zest. Once you are fully refreshed and sweet smelling, we would then spend the evening sipping sangria and seeing how we blend. Maybe we'd watch some cartoons - I love bananamation.

Favorite quote: "Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana."

Have a non-banana-related video you'd like to see featured? Send suggestions to earthtogeoff@gmail.com.

 
 

 

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