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Bring back the pork!

April 5, 2012 - John Stack
Back in 2010, the GOP was all about getting rid of pork spending (earmarks, member items, special interest projects). Even Barack Obama said he would veto bills containing pork. These were items tacked onto other spending bills that were mostly pet projects of Congressmen. In fact, they declared that if they won control of congress, they would eliminate earmarks. They won control of congress, then set up a 2 year ban on earmarks. Most people, on the right and the left, saw this as an actual good government idea. These were matters which often were not vetted at all, snuck in on bills that were unrelated (almost always unrelated by their very nature). Senator Harry Reid was an earmark supporter, saying “elected representatives are more in touch with local needs than executive branch bureaucrats”. That’s about as diengenuous as my buddy Canadian fanatic Chev rooting for Zdeno Chara. The infamous $398 million Alaskan ‘Bridge to Nowhere’ was and is seen as pork spending going terribly awry. Now though, there are rumblings about bringing earmarks back.

I guess maybe there are a whole lot of local projects that relied on federal member items are really really needed and bringing back earmarks is the only way to help these underprivileged…Wait, my buddy Chev Is bothering me..’What, you think the NHL MVP Hart trophy should be renamed the ‘Chara’ Award?..sorry. excuse me. Where was I? Anyway, of course that is not the reason earmarks are being talked about again. It is the pork fat, the grease that they gave been missing. In a sentence that should be chilling to all American who don’t all ready think Congress is full of self serving out of touch bought and paid for stooges, Republican Representative Steven LaTourette said the earmark ban "has affected discipline" within the party. "You can't get 218 votes (out of 242 Republican House members) and part of that has to be if you can't give people anything (earmarks), you can't take anything away from them." Right Steve! Its time to admit earmarks are not to help local constituents, and that the legislators know better than a bureaucracy – its so that the House and Senate leaders can buy off the Senators and Republicans to pass bills! (reverse peristaltic maneuvers slightly avoided).

But some Congressmen say earmarks have been good, pointing to the Predator drone. Predator is the unmanned military aircraft used in Afghanistan and other places that are remotely controlled and don’t put US servicemen and woman at risk..OOOKay..But isn’t it even more scary that such a ‘earmark’ had to come from a lawmakers request to grease the rails for some other legislation? There are grants and research funding through a myriad of other avenues, and this company needed to have a Senator in his pocket to get this money?

GOP Congressman Gohmert is also upset with the earmark ban. Warning: the following will also conclude that Senators and Congressmen are also really a bunch of whiny snot nosed whiners who really need remedial Kindergarten. Back to Gohmert - him, other GOP colleagues are upset that the ban on earmarks has been a boon to president Obama because he can still ‘dole out projects as he sees fit’ …So…earmarks are bad right? Oh. Unless the party of the president gets to do it and you don’t. Even though you voted to ban it. Its still wrong, but you think you should be able to do it because someone else does. Mommy mommy! Ashling McGillicuddy gets to stay stay up until 10 O’clock and eat ice cream so I should be able to also!! (congressman Gohmert was said to have often used this argument as a child).

Even GOP leader John Boehner is exploring getting earmarks back in. he says ‘maybe with some earmark reform’. Reform? The only reform is to eliminate them forever, like small pox. Sorry – I have to wholeheartedly agree (possibly for the first and last time) with Congressman Jim Jordan and Senator Tom Coburn – ‘earmarks should not be a tool for buying votes on important bills’..Hear hear.


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