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Nuts running the asylum

January 30, 2012 - John Stack
I was talking with my friend Jaybo Jackson the other day. He joked something about him being taller and not a left wing loonie ranter. At first, I thought to mysef ‘He must be joking. When it comes to loonie, the right has a monopoly’. But, as is normally the case, many can’t see the forest for the trees. And while I won’t claim All right-wingers are nuts, it’s a pretty good bet that most nuts are right-wingers. Lets start at the top. Who are the go-to guys for the right wingers who rant against the left? They go right to Pelosi/Reid. I’ll cover that easily with Boehner/Cantor. But lets go down the line. Luckily, in the senate, we have a bunch of ideologues, but much less of the ‘nuttiness’. The House, though has more nuts than a 5 pound can of Planters.

To start with the worst, how to compare Allen West of Florida? Lets see: ideological check. Foul mouthed. Check. Retired from military rather than be thrown out? Check. Claims that video of Marines urinating on dead Iraqis deserves at best a reprimand? Check. Called his Democratic Florida colleague ‘"vile, unprofessional ,and despicable," "a coward," "characterless," and "not a Lady," and demanding that she "shut the heck up." Because of a policy dispute? Yup. Doesn’t get much more Batspit crazy than West. Sorry. I got nothing to put up on the Donkey’s side. How about joe walsh? Erstwhile guitarist for The Eagles? (I may have that wrong though). You know, the guy who screams at his constituents and tells them they will have to leave if they disagree with him? He who swears banks had NOTHING to do with the financial meltdown? He of the $100,000 plus child support problem? Who may actually be barred from running for public office because of the outstanding support amount? Yeah. I got nothing to throw up against him either. Peter King? The anti-muslim congressman from NY who would probably be afraid if Muhammed Ali was at the same restaurant as him. Michele Bachmann? The one who makes up policy on her way to podium and accepts as gospel (pun intended) the word of crazies on the street to form her opinion? Yeah, the nuttiness goes so deep there she could put Jimmy Carter’s business into bankruptcy.

Yeah. We on the left really got no one to compare. What? You say Barbara Boxer and Diane Feinstein? Ahh. No, that’s just policy disagreements not nuttiness. That’s why the likes of Mitch McConnell were left out.

Ok, who do we have to deal with immigration nazi and finger poking Jan Brewer of Arizona? Or Scott Walker of Wisconsin? Darn. How about Nikki Haley? The first Indian American governor of Soouth Carolina who is afraid to identify with her own race? Those crickets sure are loud….

But of course that which makes the comparison akin to The Steelers of 1980 versus the Mohawk Pop Warner team playing at Weasel field are the pundits/commentators/writers. For women writers there is no complement to Ann Coulter or Michele Malkin. For talking heads, I’ll throw Maddow and Olberman and get slaughtered by Palin, Beck, Limbaugh, Hannity, O’reilly ad nauseum. To listen to a Hannity talk show rant on Obama, I’m reminded of my friend Gary from high school. He was going on and on and on and on about how he didn’t like Shelly anymore. No one there didn’t get the idea that he was still in love with her. For Hannity it seems plausible he has a shrine at his house to Obama and bids on Ebay for purported discarded bubble gum from the POTUS. For Limbaugh, his ‘The lady doth protest too much’ makes you think his erotic fantasy is a concubine who dresses up like Ann Richardson of Texas.

Ok, I’ll take a hit for the Rev Al Sharpton. But that’s like comparing Fred ‘Chicken’ Stanley with Derek Jeter. What you say? Mike Malloy? That’s a worse comparison than my buddies Matt and Chris on Potsdam radio back in 1988 versus Wolfman Jack.

So, maybe the right doesn’t see it. Right now, everything about conservativism and the Tea Party is in the news. An alien would think the US has gone bonkers. Luckily, come this fall, at least we will have Obama versus ‘possibly some nut from Utah’ . I’ll take that.

...Late entry! Late entry! Stacey Campfield, he of the law to make any mention of homosexuality in Tennessee schools a crime, and his unique and misguided perspective on HIV..Chief Nut of the week (Guess which party he represents in Tn?)


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