Air Force combat veteran Adam Livernois connected with this horse during a Homeward Bound Adirondacks retreat for veterans. The organization pays all expenses for its retreats, except for transportation to get there. (Photo provided by Homeward Bound Adirondacks)

SARANAC LAKE — An organization that strives to help North Country veterans is looking for a home.

Homeward Bound Adirondacks (HBADK), a small nonprofit group based in Saranac Lake, does on-the-ground crisis outreach for local veterans and also sponsors healing retreats in the woods.

“We would like to have a permanent retreat facility in the Adirondacks,” board President Mark Moeller said. “We could use it to reduce our expenses for lodging; at the moment we have to rent the facilities we use.”

But with a budget totalling roughly $50,000 a year, the group can’t afford to buy property. Instead, its officials hope to acquire it as a free gift.

Each three-day retreat takes place over a weekend, running Friday to Sunday. Last year HBADK served 350 veterans with 12 retreats, but this year it’s cutting back to only six retreats to fit its budget.

“If we had a permanent spot, we could do fundraising,” said Valerie Ainsworth, executive director of HBADK. Sis also executive director of the Mental Health Association in Essex County. “This constantly moving around makes it so nobody knows where we are.”

“The problem with veterans’ services,” said HBADK board Secretary Steve Erman, “is we have wars with the expectation that the federal government that sent these guys is going to help them when they get back. The absence of strong programs for veterans at the federal and state level means it falls on nonprofits like us to provide services that are needed.”

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Saving lives, saving families

“We get a lot of testimonials where someone will say, ‘I was planning on killing myself, but I decided I’d give this a shot,'” said Ainsworth.

“How can we not continue this and try to expand it?” asked Moeller.

Adam Livernois, an Air Force combat veteran, has been on three Homeward Bound retreats. Livernois has severe post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a condition in which the fight-or-flight reflex is altered by severe trauma. Chemical and biological changes in the brain put it in a permanent state of high alert while the constant elevation of stress hormones prevents the brain from processing signals to turn off the fight-or-flight reaction and begin healing.

For example, Livernois said his experience of standing in line at a grocery store is different than before he went to war. Having strangers stand right next to him in a small space makes him acutely uncomfortable, but he also doesn’t want to appear rude by backing away from people.

“Not all wounds are visible,” said Livernois. “I’m anxious around a lot of people, and I always feel judged by society.”

Resetting the brain and the neural pathways can be done, but it takes time and the right environment. That’s where the retreats are useful.

Ainsworth said one Iraq war veteran found that sitting around a campfire brought back unbearable memories associated with fire. At first, he couldn’t do it. But being around other veterans who understood his reaction and getting guidance from the retreat counselors helped him loosen that trauma’s grip on his brain.

“He was able to reframe this experience,” said Ainsworth. “It was a substantial success story.”

The retreats focus on different themes, such as communicating with loved ones or an upcoming one on traumatic brain injury. Participants range from ex-soldiers in the Vet to Vet program in New York City to recovering substance-abusing female veterans to the families of veterans. In addition to the counseling, veterans are helped by being around other veterans who know where they’ve been and some of what they’re going through.

“Relationships I’ve created through Homeward Bound have helped me,” said Livernois. “I’ve created lifelong friends.”

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A home in the woods

“Getting people out in the woods helps to settle them and helps them calm down,” Erman said.

HBADK would like to make sure it continues serving both out-of-area and local veterans.

“I could fill all the retreats within 24 hours with all downstate vets,” said Ainsworth. “I’m always saving slots for North Country veterans. They are the harder ones to engage.”

Past retreats have been held at Camp Dudley in Westport and Camp Overlook in Mountain View. Right now the organization is hoping to work with the state to acquire a property for a permanent facility. With that, it might be able to run programs for longer than a weekend, and would have a base camp for fundraising and organizing activities. It would also help people identify them. Moeller said there’s sometimes confusion with Patriot Hills, which was involved with the original version of HBADK.

Erman said it would also help change the way veterans are perceived. “If the state looked at veterans as tourists, instead of looking at veterans as a difficulty, it could see this as a way of helping everyone,” he said.

Bob Ross, a board member of HBADK and CEO of St. Joseph’s Addition and Treatment Recovery Centers, said, “There’s some really wonderful work being done in the Adirondacks, and it’s really helping veterans. And it’s happening on a shoestring budget.

“It’s giving people some hope that not all stories that come out about veterans are tragedies.”